I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
