dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
