I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize