Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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