youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
