yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
