he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
