i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
