If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
