ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
