no. you can't hotbox the world.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
