so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
