My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
