would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
wow bdsm is so cute
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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