It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
