Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
