For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
