He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
