I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
