yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
