After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
