Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
