I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
