Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
