My room smells like vodka and shame
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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