I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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