Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
