I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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