My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
