Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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