Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
