there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
