Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
