I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
