yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
