You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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