Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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