i permit you to call me
Can Purell be used as lube?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
