Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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