Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
