We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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