I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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