Come see our sink grown plant.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
