dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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