I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
