My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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