I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
