ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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