I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
