bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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