The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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