another moral hangover. fuck.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
