That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
