He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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