How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
